LOSS OF A LOVED ONE IS DEVASTATING
- Find time with others to talk, to touch, to receive support. Be honest about what you're feeling. Allow yourself to express your sadness.
- Don't expect others to guess what you need. When you want to be touched, held, hugged, listened to or pampered, say so.
- If all you want from others is help with simple errands, tasks and repairs, say so.
- Let others (especially children) know if and when you need to be alone, so they won't feel rejected.
- Go somewhere and have a good, long cry-and do it as often as you wish. You have every right to miss the person who has died. Accept your feelings as normal.
- Identify your loneliest times, and think of ways to alter your routines and environment (for example, rearrange the furniture in a room; plan your weekends ahead of time; use your microwave for quick, easy meals.
- Realize that no one can totally understand the relationship you had with your loved one. Though well intentioned, things said to you may hurt.
- Ask people to remember, talk about and share stories about your loved one with you.
SPIRITUAL REACTIONS
Regardless of one's identification or affiliation with an organized religion, spiritual doubts and questions may arise when a loved one dies. Suffering a major loss often leads us to confront and re-think our basic beliefs about God, religion, death and the afterlife. Some may turn to God as a source of strength and consolation at the time of a loved one's death and find their faith has deepened. Others may question the religious teachings they've practiced all their lives and find the very foundations of their beliefs shaken to the core. Even those who had no religious upbringing at all may feel abandoned by God or angry with God for “letting their loved one get sick and die.” Not all people respond to loss in the same way, and not everyone shares the same cultural, religious or spiritual beliefs about death and the afterlife.
Death forces us to confront the spiritual questions we may have been avoiding or haven't taken the time to address, the questions that get at the very heart and meaning of life: Who am I? Why am I here? Where am I going?
Whether a strong religious faith will be a help or a hindrance in your recovery from grief depends on what you believe and how your beliefs are practiced. Like any other tool, religion, can be abused in unhealthy, inappropriate ways.
Religion can be a great antidote for the loneliness that accompanies every major loss, and it can be a source of strength and group support. What it cannot do is give us immunity from loss or give us back our lost loved ones – nor can it provide us with a shortcut through grief.
THE LOSS OF A LOVED ONE can cause physical and mental problems, example; Claire came to Sam Meranto, in 1989, with her son, she was having memory problems and the doctors diagnosed her with Alzheimer's. She was put in Sam Meranto's meditation room and had one session 45 minutes long called Loss of a Loved One, she came out of the room and said all of her fears she had were answered and quote “She could fly like a bird”. She enrolled in Sam's program and within two months she was flying by herself to Chicago to visit relatives.
Our Office Location in Phoenix:
4440 E. Indian School Road Phoenix, AZ 85018
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Arizona residents and visitors come in for a free session and consultation on the loss of a loved one.
Hours:
8AM - 5PM week days
Call for appointment and free session:
602-957-4669
Outside of Arizona:
(800) 580-5080
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